No perfect people...

Nobody really gets it right.

I think that social media makes us think that some of us do.

But it's not true.

It's a lie.

And you know what? I really don't like the father of lies...

So I really wish you would put down your phone and computer and twitter, and facebook, and blogging, and magazines, and do two things

1) Stop comparing yourself
2) Visit someone in the flesh

Putting down all that paraphernalia is not the goal... let's not become legalistic about this and suffer under Pontius Lent (season I most hate)

The point is to get away from the things which the father of lies will easily twist into using against you.

Visiting someone in the flesh does a few things. It allows someone to know that you care about them enough to come see them. It also allows you to see their very unphotoshopped, unmadeup, crazy looking personhood and (most likely messy) surroundings. And it facilitates the real trappings of relationships... asking the hard questions, getting to the bottom of communication problems, stopping the addictions, getting constructive criticism without feeling under attack, actualizing world change, truly inquiring about someone's mental state.. etc. etc. etc.

My church's motto is this:

No Perfect People Allowed

It's a good reminder. Messiness is a prerequisite. Brokenness a gift.

Don't let the sunshine blind you. I'm a pretty flawed person. You get the beautiful and inspired thoughts most of the time... but they bleed from a broken and contrite heart which will forever be a sacrifice pleasing to God.

Bleeding hearts

The student update

Hullo!

I've been neglecting this blog terribly... as I tend to do. I go in spurts. I feel bad for the people who do come back... especially the ones I referred from my Lenten blog. It's hard for me to do too much writing because I'm in school. Therefore, I'm going to do two things. 1) I'm posting an email I sent a few weeks ago - so the people who read this blog that aren't my friends will have something new to look at (sorry if you're my friend you've probably already read the email) And 2) I'm going to refer to you my alter ego... at http://flawsonmysleeve.blogspot.com

Peace my loves!

Infectious Joy

I was talking to a lovely friend who sent me this picture...which I should probably credit to Tom Hiddleston who posted on his twitter... because that will make half of you (the female half) grin even more.

Be so happy that when others see you they become happy

It reminded me of a small but profound insight I had completely forgotten (yet again - I'm sure I've come to this epiphany multiple times before). When I was a small child, I was REALLY HAPPY. Almost nothing fazed me and people just wanted to be around me (according to my mother). I retained that quality of optimism and joy for quite a while.... but somewhere in the mix I got derailed completely. At some point, life became a wild mix of trying to make everyone else happy and change the world. I still wanted to affect people positively, but it was complicated with how to best serve them, where to give my money, what causes to support, how to act in order to make everyone happy etc. I forgot that the secret to making people happy - is to BE HAPPY YOURSELF! Part of the power of thanksgiving and joy in Christianity - is the fact that people are drawn to and transformed by joyous people. It's kind of like Martha and Mary - only applied broadly. Jesus didn't need Martha stressing about how best to serve him - he needed MARTHA. And so it is with other people. I think sometimes we can best serve others by simply being content and joyful.

This is NOT to say you can't be sad or shouldn't be concerned about the world's problems. But with the news, the internet, and social media, I think it's ten times easier to take a heavier burden on yourself than God intended. After all, he promised a light and easy yoke! So it's my personal goal to worry less about the world's problems/evil and dwell more on God's goodness in specific ways... like how the sycamore tree causes the sun to be dappled in the morning, or how achingly wonderful the strings are in a particular song, or the strength in my legs as I run, or even silly things like the fact Tom Hiddleston posts memes like that on his twitter (and I don't even like him!) Hahaha. For we are to think on the things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, and excellent. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone was doing likewise?!

Joyfully yours,

Katie

Renaming required

I'm thinking of changing the blog name to "Splashes of Sunshine". It struck me today that slices are measurable and meted out... but splashes are an excess of overflow and quite unrestrained. Lately it's become rather important to me that things be uncontainable. So many of our problems come from trying to measure our worth, hoard our good things, harness the power, control the gods, etc. The more than I grow closer to the creator of the universe - the more I realize how unbounded He is and what that means. It means I can never reach the end of his love or grace or patience. It means there are no insignificant details he doesn't see. It means he wants joy and goodness for me that will have no ceasing. He doesn't get bored or tired or grumpy and I'm sometimes sure the world and me could drive him there quickly. It means he wants me to see the world with endless wonder, not cynicism. It means I don't need to worry about being wise or making a name for myself. I don't have to be on the cutting edge of discovery or writing consistently in this blog to be influential. Sometimes it seems to me the wiser people try to be, the unhappier they become - either because of the competition or the endless need to be someone Great. The best thing about being a child of God... is rest... from the need to be anything but oneself... even if that person is small, "boring", and "unimportant" in the mechanisms of the grand world. Children, before they are sullied, are completely happy with themselves and enjoy the world without regard to making meaning. While children may look foolish, they never feel foolish unless they are made to feel so. To be a child - is to do things boldly without worrying how it appears and whether it will be significant. Perhaps the most foolish thing to do - is to try to make meaning out of one's life.

Find beauty

In my absence, little has changed about the way I perceive the world, except that the urgency to find beauty in everything has only increased.

In the extended period of isolation and loneliness that has swallowed me whole and is now digesting me in all its acidity, I hold onto visions of beauty, hope, and fullness.

I've stated so very many times what an awkward stage of life I'm in. On one hand I enjoy the freedom, independence, and flexibility immensely, but oh how I long for stability, constancy, and the feeling of being tethered. I've always been a social creature. It's not that I'm any less social. While it's apparent I run less in large groups, I still see individuals on a surprisingly regular basis, and I still rack my brain to fit people I love into my schedule. But... there is a gaping hole. I don't have someone to fall back on, to drag into random adventures, to vent to, and to solve problems with. At the end of the day, I'm alone.

As a 25 year old with no apparent life-changing events occurring, no marriage, no babies, no FBI job saving the world, no cutting edge research, no memoirs of sharp wit, no marathons runs, no Olympic medals won... it's easy to feel insignificant.

So with no tether, no seeming purpose like family or world changing career (then again I am a nurse), I have to remind myself that my objective was always to know God... not to save the world. I have to learn to live with the longing for more that sometimes threatens to tear me apart, to cozy up to the loneliness that feels like a wall of suffocation, and in everything I have to find beauty and give thanks. It has to be more than obligation, it has to be faith. Giving thanks cannot be a duty, but a window to remember that everything is possible with God and He will never allow you to be stuck, stagnant, dead... at least not forever. There are times we dwell in the darkness with the seed wondering if we will ever see the light of day. February is a great month for brooding on this topic, but I can promise you that as constant as the spring comes, the days lengthen, and the flowers pop up... we will not be left in darkness. Until then, find as much beauty as you can in the frigid, isolating, darkness. Find goodness in the mess. Find the heart of gold under the rough exterior. Find the truth out of the lies. Find the light in the dark - and walk toward it. Sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and trust that something more is guiding you.