Spiritual ADD

Lately, I've been seeing Jesus giving me universal "keep your eyes fixed on me" two fingers flipping back and forth between his eyes and mine. Every time I hear His voice, I turn to look at Him and for one shining moment the opera chorus swells and I feel like everything is going to work out, but then I'm like SQUIRREL... or in this case CHIPMUNK. And as soon as I take my eyes of Him, I start getting overwhelemed or depressed.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says this:
Who is pure in heart? Only those who have completely given their hearts to Jesus, so that he alone rules in them. Only those who do not stain their hearts with their own evil, but also not with their own good. A pure heart is the simple heart of a child, who does not know about good and evil, the heart of Adam before the fall, the heart in which the will of Jesus rules instead of one’s own conscience.… A pure heart is pure of good and evil; it belongs entirely and undivided to Christ; it looks only to him, who goes on ahead. Those alone will see God who in this life have looked only to Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Their hearts are free of defiling images; they are not pulled back and forth by the various wishes and intentions of their own. Their hearts are fully absorbed in seeing God. They will see God whose hearts mirror the image of Jesus Christ.

As I've been struggling through the rough seas this season, I've been considering the root of my problems. I struggle with three main things which all tie together: rejection, loss/abandoment, and self-esteem/worth. Basically, I've found if that I look anywhere but to the Lord for my identity, these three things rear their heads. There are many voices which speak to you every day. It is important to choose who you listen to carefully. When I am distracted by other voices, I hear things like "you have to keep up the good work, God wants you to make a difference, you're not doing enough for the kingdom, you're not a good person, you're a failure at relationships..." When you listen too long to the wrong voices, you allow a pattern to occur which will bring you down. You're thoughts are powerful. "The difference between a guilt-ridden Christian and a light-hearted and joyful Christian is often one simple thing... what they are thinking about" (Robert L). If I keep my heart fixed on Jesus and listen for his voice, I will grow to know his voice (John 10:27), and if I know his voice... I will know the truth. And if I know the truth- I will be set free from feelings of depression, rejection, abandonment, worthlessness. I will not worry about whether I am doing the right thing or whether I'm a good person... I will simply see the will of Jesus and follow Him. So here's to breaking spiritual ADD, blocking out distracting voices, fixing my eyes upon Him whom everything rests, and finding the contentment of a child therein.